Being an Equestrian and a Mom:Expectations vs. Reality
As if motherhood isn’t hard enough, when you have a lifestyle that includes horses the transition can be a bit more… interesting.
I envisioned what life would be like after baby arrived and as an extreme Type A personality (emphasis on the rigidly organized and ambitious), what could possibly go wrong?
If you looked at my planner you’d see how I planned everything out leading up to Tallulah’s birth and how I would balance horses and baby after her arrival.
Now that Lulah is 10 months old, I can safely say my expectations ended up being quite different than reality.
Expectation: I can ride while the baby sleeps
Reality: Maybe. I’ve heard a lot of moms say that they are able to ride while their little one naps, but this simply didn’t and hasn’t worked out for me (yet). Who knows, maybe it will one day, but for now I’ve accepted that it’s not happening and I’m totally ok with that!
Tallulah sleeps amazing through the night, usually 730pm-730am (give or take) with one or two night wakings to nurse. Of course, by the time she’s a year old I’m hopeful she will be sleeping completely through the night with only day time feedings.
She takes two naps a day for about an hour and fifteen minutes per nap. The caveat is that she takes those naps on me. It’s just something she’s always done so I’ve never attempted to change it! I put on my solly baby wrap, put her in it, and I sit in the recliner in the living room while she snoozes. It’s the two times a day I can sit and relax and watch a documentary or catch up on some reading. We both enjoy this quiet time together and I know it won’t last forever.
Tallulah napping on me when she was still pretty new to this world. This is how she still naps on me twice a day.
Expectation: I can put my baby in a stroller or pack and play and ride while she plays
Reality: Not if your baby wants constant attention and stimulation like mine!
You may be one of the lucky ones who has a baby that can entertain themselves, and to that I say- good. for. you. Don’t take it for granted and get your saddle time in!
To those who have a baby like mine, you may have to get a little more creative. I have successfully gotten in a 20-30 minute ride here and there with her in the stroller with a few toys, and she has played nicely for a little while in the pack and play if my husband is nearby to interact with her.
What I have found works for me is taking advantage of the morning daylight (and cooler weather in the summer months) before she wakes up and riding at 6am. This allows me enough time to get a ride in, get chores done, and take a shower (North Carolina humidity, ya’ll) before she wakes up. My husband works out while I’m riding and has the monitor with him. I’m already thinking ahead to winter and when I can get a ride in when the daylight is shorter.
Riding on a winter day when my husband was off and could watch Tallulah while I rode
Expectation: I’ll wear my baby to do barn chores so I can burn more calories and lose the baby weight faster
Reality: This one has actually worked out pretty close to my expectation! Of course, right after she was born she was so little and doing any horse related chores seemed 100x harder with a baby attached to me. I was so slow because I didn’t want to jostle her to much. My body was also weak and recovering and it was difficult getting things done. If you’ve ever tried cleaning stalls with a baby strapped to you, you know what I’m saying! I stuck with it though, and have become stronger for it. She’s about 18.5 pounds now (at 10 months old) and I wear her to do evening chores almost daily. It’s like wearing a weighted vest and you better believe your body will benefit from it.
Tip: Wear your baby on walks! Besides riding and working out on the treadmill I take Lulah on walks several times a week. She actually prefers that I wear her than being in the stroller, so the added weight helps me burn more calories during those walks.
Wearing Lulah on a walk in Davidson in one of my Solly Baby wraps
Wearing Lulah while doing barn chores.
Expectation: My horses will love her! Duh!
Reality: They love her in their own way in their own time.
My boys have polar opposite personalities. Atticus is my arrogant, sensitive, quirky ottb who was appropriately nicknamed “James Dean” by my coach/trainer. Porky is my humble little Haflinger/Fjord pony who despite his sassy little attitude and being an energizer bunny under saddle is so squishy, sweet, and lovable.
It’s true what they say though, horses do know that a baby is different. Lulah was around my horses basically the day after we got home from the hospital. They’ve seen her, smelled her, and interacted with her on an almost daily basis ever since.
In the beginning, they were quite unsure of her but have always been gentle around her. Atticus is aware of her, but Porky I think actually enjoys her. He will put his nose on her and just breathe her in while she pats at him and tries to pet his eyelashes with her tiny fingers.
Atticus tolerating the attention
Porky being a good boy for a quick photo op.
Expectation: I’ll be able to ride just as often as I always have
Reality: A big maybe. This one depends on a lot of different factors- the time of year, the age of your baby, if you’re willing to ride with no one else around or during your baby’s naps, etc.
In the beginning, I was delighted to ride once or twice a week. I was also breastfeeding 12 times a day and sneaking in a ride between those sessions wasn’t easy, but it was doable- at least when my husband was home from work. I definitely wasn’t able to ride as often as i used to though, which was 4-6 days a week.
Fast forward to now- my baby is 10 months old and it’s summer time with a lot of daylight. I personally don’t feel comfortable riding at home by myself; I have peace of mind and am much more relaxed riding when my husband is home. He’s not only able to watch the baby but just in case anything would happen to me he’s around for that too. Now that I’ve found a good time that works for me to ride (6am) I am able to ride as often as I used to!
If you board, this may look totally different to you. Maybe you have good friends you board with who are willing to watch your kiddo(s) while you get a ride in. Or, you have a safe spot you can put your little one in a pack and play while you ride and can see them or monitor them. Another idea is to find another momma who boards with you or lives nearby and you can watch each other’s kiddo(s) while you ride.
My first ride back after giving birth
Expectation: Doing horse errands (like picking up a load of hay or getting bedding and feed from Tractor Supply) will be as easy as it always has been
Reality: LOL. No. Honestly, I don’t know why I thought this would be so easy- I just pictured myself strolling in to Tractor Supply or driving to my hay supplier (45 mins one way) with Lulah asleep in the car seat while I do everything I normally would.
I used to do these chores completely by myself on weekends or after work, but it has become way easier to either do them with my husband or while my husband can stay home with the baby. We typically do hay runs together, and he now unloads and stacks all the hay. I used to stack it all myself too, but after driving there and back it’s usually time for the baby to eat and nap which means I take her in the house while my husband does the unloading/stacking.
She does occasionally go with me to Tractor Supply, and in the beginning I would just take her inside in her carseat and put her on one of the carts. She would fit in her carseat and still have enough room on the flat cart for me to stack several bags of feed.
Shopping in Dover
Your expectations and realities may be totally different than mine, but what I’ve learned in the last 10 months is to have patience as you learn how to balance being a momma and making sure you do things for yourself- which for me, is horse time. The sooner I figured out a schedule that worked for me, the happier I’ve felt.
If you’re struggling to figure out how to fit riding time into your hectic schedule (momma or not), I’d be happy to try and help! queencityequestrian@gmail.com
